• Diane Exner


Something needs to change. I need to recharge and get out of the dessert. I need a new perspective.

A few years ago, I named my journal “I’ve Been Thinking”. This morning when I was going through some of my writings, I couldn’t for the life of me remember what IBT stood for. I laughed when it came back to me. I realized, this is the first time this year, I’ve taken time to write. No wonder I’m feeling so stressed and tied in knots. I haven’t taken time to de-stress or decompress.

This morning I decided it was time for a new perspective. Instead of having coffee on my deck, I’d go to the back of my yard for a different view. The same yard, same structures and landscape, but different. To my delight, the same sense of peace and contentment. No pressures of the day, no work to be done, no outside forces beating my brain into submission.

So what is it that brings me so much peace and contentment here? I can’t sit in my yard, surrounded by an eight foot fence for the rest of my life. Although I feel very protected and at peace it would only be a matter of time, and this view would get boring and I’d need a change. So where is the balance?

What is the source of my frustration? This week pushed me to my limits. So much so that I entertained some major changes. When I stepped back and considered the source(s) of my frustration, they are things I can’t control. Overall, I was simply tired. Tired of my surroundings. Tired of the pressures. Tired of outside forces trying to beat my brain into submission. Tired of being directed or led to somewhere I don’t really want to go. So why would I entertain those thoughts? That direction? Why am I tempted to join many others that are feeling the same hopeless despair and succumbing to being cranky and unhappy?

Many are feeling overwhelmed and tired, and losing our urge and resolve to fight, to make a change … a difference. I was included in that boat. I’m reminded of a book I read years ago, “If You Want to Walk on Water You’ve got to Get Out of the Boat”. The Publisher’s Summary said, You’re one step away from the adventure of your life! The choice is yours. The choice is mine. Am I ready for an adventure? I’m definitely ready for a change!

Now the battle in my mind begins. You are too tired and worn out. You won’t have support. You will need to do this alone. You don’t have what it takes. Maybe in your younger day … but now you are too old. It’s too stormy. It’s comfortable in the boat. You know the boat. Stay in the Boat!!!!

Yesterday I found a dime outside my car door when picking up supper. Some believe this is a sign that folks who have passed on, are letting us know they are watching over us. Some say signs like this are deceptive and sent from the dark side to mess with your mind. Some say believing in a God you can’t see is fruitless and foolish. Each of us choose what we believe. I believe there are signs all around us that our loved ones, past and present, are cheering and encouraging us to get out of the boat and walk on water. Showing us how to be fearless in the eye of the storm, perceived or real.

This writing started with the analogy of a dry desert and being parched; thirsty. It’s ending with a picture of life giving water. My soul is refreshed and quenched. My perspective has changed. There will always be a storm, today it’s a pandemic, tomorrow will be something else. I choose not to keep my eyes on the storm but to be a water walker. I choose to have Faith and not live in fear. Sink, swim or walk … I choose adventure.

Funny thing, as I have enjoyed my solitude this morning, I feel I’m not alone. The elements that surround me make me feel connected to something greater. The wind has changed several times. One minute it’s quiet or a gentle breeze, the next it wants to be heard in the rustling leaves; a distraction perhaps. What has not changed is the sun and blue skies that have been here all along, warming my spirit, quenching my soul.

There will always be outside forces fighting for your attention. As I close, I hear church bells in the back ground and I realize I’ve just been to church. My dad always told me you don’t need to go to a building to meet with God. He’s everywhere you are. Today God was in my back yard quenching my spirit … ‘Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to thee, How Great Thou Art, How Great Thou Art.’ My cup is full once again, with a new perspective!

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